Bloody Fantasy 7
by Neo Shadow Sigma
Summary: My very first fic. Yes all the titles of my crossovers will be this hokey. Rated R for Red XIII's rather strong, and I mean STR-ONG language. R&R. Flamers welcome (its all constructive to me).


Chapter 1  
  
Red XIII: Dammit, Cloud!!! Get back here!!!  
  
(Cloud runs through his villa, laughing hysterically, after putting out Red's tail flame with his super soaker)  
  
Red XIII: Your pushing it, fudge-packer!!!  
  
(Cloud grinds to a halt and gives Red a dirty look)  
  
Cloud: You take that back, lint face!  
  
Red XIII: Oh, come on. You're such a flaming queer. It's so frickin' obvious.  
  
Cloud: I am not! Fuck off!  
  
Red XIII: Then explain those hentai pictures of you and Zack on the Internet.  
  
Cloud: Uh..um..I, uh.  
  
Red XIII: I thought so. (He moves his still steaming tail tip to the front) Now re-light me or else I expose your ass-ramming pastimes to everyone.  
  
(Cloud pulls out a lighter and re-ignites Red's tail)  
  
Cloud: There.  
  
Red XIII: Thank you.now get away from me you Not-So-Curious George!  
  
(There is a knock on the door)  
  
Cloud: I got it. [mumble] prick.  
  
(He goes and opens the door. Standing there is Yugo and Long in suits)  
  
Yugo: Hello sir. Is there a Nanaki among this establishment?  
  
Red XIII: I am Nanaki.  
  
Yugo: Ah yes. My name is Yugo and this is my associate, Long. May we come in?  
  
Cloud: No.  
  
(The two barge in anyway as Cloud attempts to shut the door. Instead, Cloud eats a faceful of door and hits the ground)  
  
Yugo: We need your help Nanaki.  
  
(Cloud gets up off the floor holding his nose and glaring at Yugo)  
  
Red XIII: My help? With what?  
  
Yugo: We have been fighting our foe, Uriko, for three years. We recently managed to track her here, to the Costa area, before we lost her signal. We have reason to believe that she has revived your Jenova.  
  
Red XIII: What!?  
  
Cloud: Argh! That bitch! Can't she even die right!?  
  
(Red looks at Yugo, puzzled)  
  
Red XIII: But why me? Why not Cloud, or better yet, Squall?  
  
Cloud: Hey! I could kick his pansy ass any day.  
  
Red XIII: The hell you could! You may have that flashy Ultima Weapon, but I'll be damned if you still know how to pull off Omnislash.  
  
Cloud: I do too! I.just.uh.  
  
Red XIII: *sigh* Were you born such a Numbuts?  
  
Cloud: Hmm.I don't think so.  
  
Red XIII: Uh.forget it. Please continue, gentlemen.  
  
(Yugo and Long glance at each other with confused looks on their faces)  
  
Yugo: Riiight. Anyway, the reason you've been picked is because your species is capable of Hybrid Morphing. Also you've dealt with Jenova before. You should be familiar with her weaknesses.  
  
Red XIII: Whoa, whoa. Rewind. Hybrid Morphing? What the hell is that?  
  
Yugo: Well.it's a bit difficult to verbally explain details.so we've prepared a little demonstration. Long? (Long approaches the center of the room and faces the group. He then morphs to his tiger beast form, burning away the suit showing his usual blue outfit)  
  
Red XIII: Whoa!!!  
  
Cloud: Jesus!!!  
  
Yugo: Haha. As you can see its quite an impressive process. You, Nanaki, will turn into a bipedal version of yourself. (Red speaks, still staring at Tiger-Long)  
  
Red XIII: C-can you do that, Yugo? (Long shoots him a cold glance)  
  
Yugo: Of course. I'll show you.but first.I need to get out of this damn thing!  
  
(Yugo tears his suit to shreds, revealing his usual outfit, and morphs to his wolf beast form.)  
  
Yugo: Ahhhh. It's been a while.  
  
(Red stares wide-eyed at the two zoanthropes for a second.)  
  
Red XIII: ..All right! Enough shittin' around! What do I have to do? Cloud: Hold it Red. Why should we trust you?  
  
(Red rolls his eyes)  
  
Red XIII: [thinking] Oh, please. He tries his damnedest to act all hard in front of other dudes, but I bet the only thing hard about him right now is his knob.  
  
Yugo: Why would we know about JENOVA, or even care for that matter, if she weren't a threat.  
  
Cloud: Hmm.good point.  
  
Yugo: Damn straight!  
  
Red XIII: Shut up, Cloud! You needn't have any say in this. They need my help, remember?  
  
Cloud: [mumble] Penis mofo.  
  
Red XIII: Besides, if JENOVA is still alive, we need to do something.  
  
Yugo: We should get going.  
  
(Yugo and Long change back and head toward the door)  
  
Red XIII: Where? To do what?  
  
Yugo: We have to go to one of the Seraph Shrines to get your Hybrid Mantle.  
  
Cloud: What's a Hybrid Mantle?  
  
Yugo: If you weren't born with the ability to hybrid morph, like Long, a few others, and me you have to get a Hybrid Mantle. Then you can morph.  
  
Cloud: Well.let's go. Oh! Wait a minute!  
  
(Cloud runs to his room and later returns with his Ultima Weapon, wiping off it layers upon layers of dust and cobwebs)  
  
Cloud: OK, ready!  
  
Red XIII: *scoffs* Like that thing'll do any good.  
  
Cloud: Shut up. You're just jealous that I get to use this kick ass sword and your stuck with a fucking feather.  
  
Red XIII: Well that may be.  
  
(Red summons up his strength and initiates Cosmo Memory)  
  
Red XIII: But at least I remember the Limit Breaks, asshole!  
  
(He blasts Cloud. Cloud's entire body is blackened except for his sword)  
  
Cloud: ..Ow.  
  
Yugo: Uh.just come on guys.  
  
(Yugo and Long leave)  
  
Cloud: Shouldn't we get the others? *Cough*  
  
Red XIII: No time.  
  
Cloud: ..Wait, yes there is!  
  
Red XIII: I know, but this is our fic. Why share the glory?  
  
Cloud: Good thinkin'.  
  
Red XIII: I know. 


End file.
